Friday, June 3, 2011

The junk that's on everyone's lips

I've experienced a marked upsurge in blog traffic recently. While I'd like to think that the world is finally taking notice of my considerable genius, it has much more to do with the vagaries of Google searches.

I once wrote a post entitled The Asian penis in popular culture, which is about how mocking the alleged size of Asian men's genitalia has a tacit acceptance in movies and television. Part of that post contains a reference to actor Ken Jeong, who appears stark naked in both Hangover movies, revealing what could probably be described as a micropenis.

That one page has received 2,357 hits this week alone. Why?

Well, The Hangover 2 has just come out, and it turns out that if you type in "Ken Jeong penis", my blog is the second entry listed. Hooray for me! I've finally achieved my ultimate blogging ambition: to be a haven for people who possibly have a unhealthy obsession with Ken Jeong and his miniscule junk.

So I present to you, in all it's glory... the Ken Jeong-related search terms that have led people to my blog this week.

ken jeong tiny penis
ken jeong's small penis
Ken Jeong Mini penis
is ken jeong dick really that small?
ken jeong tiny dick
ken jeong was naked
ken jeong actual penis size
ken jeong cock
tiny penis ken jeoung
does ken jeong have a penis?
is ken jeong's penis small?
how big is Ken Jeong dick
ken jeong genitalien
ken jeongs small dick
does ken jeong have the world's smallest dick?
is ken jeongs penis really that small?
ken jeong penis podcast
Ken Jeong penis naked
ken jeong small penis picture
asian penis hangover
ken jeong + penis
is ken jeong's penis that small?
why does ken jeong have a small penis?
ken jeong real penis size
does ken jeong really have a small dick?
is ken jeongs penis that small?
Ken Jeong small penis

The other blog post of mine that generates the most traffic is Race, IQ and penis size. So if you're smart and you're a blogger, you'll clearly realise that the way to generate maximum blog hits is to write about penises as much as you can. You could just call your blog "Penis Blog" and in no time you'd become the Bill Gates of blogging.

And for the record: yes, it's real. Apparently that is his tiny little dong.

So on behalf of men of Asian ancestry everywhere, I say: thanks a f*cking bunch, Ken. It's one thing to have the kind of pecker that even small rodents would find inadequate. But did you have to exhibit it quite so much? You are now the poster boy for Asian penises. What about those of us who have regular sized junk? How do you think that makes us look? If, God forbid, The Hangover 3 ever gets released, we may reach the point where no woman will be able to contemplate getting their swerve on with an Asian man without worrying about the possibility that he suffers from a case of Jeong-dong. So keep the damn thing in your pants.


In other whang-related news, the other penis that everyone is talking about is that of New York congressman Anthony Weiner (yeah, I know), who is accused of sending a picture of his robustly bulging underpants to some young woman on Twitter. Weiner claims someone hacked into his account.

The Daily Show is having a lot of fun with this story as you'd expect.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Circumcision 2011 - Between a C*#k and a Hard Place - Weiner Investigation
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Big Wang Theory
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook

15 comments:

  1. if you're smart and you're a blogger, you'll clearly realise that the way to generate maximum blog hits is to write about penises as much as you can

    I guess I'm a smart blogger, then. :)

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  2. I have many penis-related ideas for my blog, but I don't use them, in fear that my site would become too penis-centric.

    This post was hilarious, btw. I am not sure if it's intentional, but I quite like it. It's also... interesting to know there are people who Google celebrity + penis size.

    But I don't think his penis will ruin the thing for Asian men. In fact, it can only be helpful, because you only need to be of average size to be considered surprisingly big (if the lady expects something quite small). Think about it. ;)

    PS- Not that I'm interested, but I don't remember any penis pictures at that post... Is it really THAT small? (<- it's a rhetorical question).

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  3. PS
    Just scrolled down to see your pic. Not very attractive. As a former teacher (what are you doing to make the world a better place?) I always taught ALL of my students to be proud of exactly who they are. Your post is the antithesis of such..."keep it in your pants" etc. What if society felt the same way about baldness. After reading this post, it's not your penis I would worry about women not finding attractive.
    AB

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  4. @ AB:
    I'm glad to hear you are no longer a teacher.

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  5. Because we should teach students to be ashamed of who they are? Your post screams of the "protesting too much", Asian insecurity and immaturity.

    Your post indicates that Asian youth should be taught to think less of themselves. Since you are of the Asian community, your "fear" of what others might think of your penis, via a movie is frightening. And I worry how these types of internalized racial insecurities are played out and perpetuated in communities.

    Although I to am glad I am no longer a teacher, being a professor pays much better. And as an equity professor teacher educator, I have a larger positive impact on children.

    I hope as you mature you find it within yourself to fight stereotypes in a positive way and that if you ever do have children, your children's teachers do not fall under the same hegemonic practices that many currently due, thus perpetuating posts such as yours.
    AB

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  6. @ AB:

    Ok, since you attempted to give an intelligent response this time rather than just personal abuse, I shall respond in kind.

    Since you are of the Asian community, your "fear" of what others might think of your penis, via a movie is frightening.
    First of all: As one of the other commenters above has clearly realised, this post is light-hearted, but if you choose to read it in a deadly serious manner, that's not my fault. I have no “fear” of what anyone thinks of my penis, personally. But browse around the Asian-American blogosphere and see what people think about Ken Jeong’s exhibitionism. I’m far from the only person who wishes he’d stop it. Why?

    Well, since you are apparently an “equity professor teacher educator”, perhaps you are aware that in the West, Asian men are frequently subject to negative stereotypes about their masculinity. The problem is not Asian men’s self-esteem so much as in the wider societal perception of them. As one of the very few Asian men with a high profile in the American entertainment industry – indeed, he is probably the best known Asian-American male actor - Jeong unwittingly perpetuates a stereotype that Asian men have small penises. In a perfect world, everyone would just think of him purely as an individual with a small penis. But it’s not a perfect world, and instead a lot of people see him as confirmation of what they’ve heard about Asian men. Showing a black or white man with a tiny penis in the same role would have an entirely different social context, as they are not subject to that stereotype.

    Jeong is no doubt a talented guy, and I’m glad he can be proud of who he is. But his love of “self-expression” is doing no favours for Asian men at all.

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  7. Although I don't agree entirely (i.e. societal perception induces racial self-hatred, lowered self-esteem, etc.) I appreciate your reply. I would still error on self-pride and self-love regardless of stereotype (e.g. the LGBTQ community). To me, that is much more powerful than the worry that who one is, will perpetuate that stereotype. If he were hung like a horse, the stereotype would still exist. I would never expect an "effiminant" gay man to act differently because it might perpetuate a de-masculinized gay stereotype. I also would not expect an Asian student to pretend he does not like math for the same reason, a female to show emotion, or even a Black person to refrain from eating chicken just cause of that fear of perpetuation. Pride in self and community is powerful. You may have a horse pecker, but Jeong's baby peep (which he may very well be a grower, not a shower) should not be a threat to you or any Asian.

    Peace.
    AB

    Best wishes,
    AB

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  8. @ AB:
    I'm glad that this discussion has taken a rather more civilised turn.

    The point I'm trying to make above is that there is a significant contextual difference between "self-pride" or "expressing oneself", and what Jeong is doing. Asian kids liking math, or black people liking fried chicken are fairly common behaviours, regardless of race. Jeong repeatedly exposing his genitals in a mainstream blockbuster comedy is quite out of the ordinary; virtually no other Hollywood actor does it. And as one of the very few As-Am male actors with a significant profile, he has some responsibility to think about how he reflects on his community.
    His penis SHOULDN'T reflect on anyone elses. But the unfortunate reality is that people look at him and think "Asian guy", whereas looking at say, Brad Pitt or Steve Carrell, they just think "guy". If Pitt or Carrell revealed tiny penises, no one would associated with a racial trait; partly because it's not a white stereotype, but also because there are so many white actors out there, and white is the "norm". Asian men do not have that luxury.

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  9. I don't know why I haven't found this blog before. But, I'm glad I did. It's quite entertaining.

    Honestly, I'm one of those people who looked up Keong Jeong's penis and found your blog. When I saw this post, I felt quite bad that I actually did what many others have done. I also laughed. (I mean, did I really just search the net for a penis? And others did too?)But after the Hangover Part II, I'm sure others were curious as well.

    I loved the Hangover and I love Kim Jeong, but I know exactly what you're talking about. His "penis scenes" left a bad taste in my mouth. (Wow. Don't qoute that.) In my group of friends, I'm the "diversity" freak.I spat off cultural facts and go off on tangents about race and racism, trying to debunk myths. So, how funny was it when all my friends watched the Hangover II and low and behold Kim Jeong's penis was there. Or wasn't there. Oh, and there were many other "penises" in that movie, too. (I guess it should count, even if they were suppose to be "females".)
    Now, it didn't make me believe for a second that the stereotype is 100 percent true, because it's not. Stereotypes never are. But, my friends sure think it was. At least now they do. Just after I spent so much time telling them about stereotypes, there that time goes to waste. I mean, I even thought the media was getting better, but I still see ninja movies coming out. (Like those will ever end.) And don't get me started on the Last Airbender movie.

    But hey, if you watch Glee, supposedly the asian character, Mike Chang, or Harry Shum Jr. has a big one-or at least a "normal" one.

    Oh, and to @AB, just because you call out stereotypes about a race that you are doesn't mean you hate yourself. I'm pretty sure Kim Jeong's "reveal" didn't cause a mass suicide of Asian men. (I hope to God not.) I'm pretty sure Asian men are quite happy and proud of themselves whatever size their "man junk" happens to be. It's just tiring sometimes when you finally see a wrong and no one wants to change it. If whites, blacks, asians, spaniards, middle easterners..etc. don't stand up for themselves, who eles is going to do it? Standing up to make a wrong a right, especially in regards to prejudice, means you care more about you race and culture and that you don't want it to be seen in such a negative light any longer.

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  10. @ Bri:
    That was one of the funniest comments I've ever received. Thumbs up. :)

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  11. My two cents...I enjoy "small" asian men. Is it a stereotype...well, i am not sure...I have dated 3 asian men and they all had small "parts". I think I have a strange fear of the "one eye monster" so I go in search for the "micro monster"

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  12. You know, I kinda agree with AB here, at the risk of sounding like I don't care about racial problems in America. Something no one has really mentioned is that Ken Jeong seems to be a very smart man (he's a licensed doctor who went to medical school, I believe--something else that may play a part is his interest in anatomy?!? Just an interesting thought that popped into my mind). Seeing that he's such a smart man, of both book learning and comedy talent, perhaps he's actually trying to get Asian kids (and anyone else) with a tiny pecker to realize it's not the end of the world. Asians may suffer from the stereotype and all it's horrific negative consequences, but imagine, by the law of averages and mathematic odds, that you WERE an Asian male with a very tiny member. How awful would that feel? Mr. Jeong has bravely stripped and he just might make some women and men get over the idea that a small weewee is a terrible thing at all. I know it made me think, after I got over my surprise. Photos, such as pornography, generally teach us the opposite. Anatomically speaking, maybe we just need to know that the world is diverse, and if we haven't slept with that many, as the blog writer mentioned, or seen a lot of other humans naked, it might be helpful to have Hollywood start teaching us some reality. (And if it's true that Ken's a doctor, he might have a better perspective on this stereotype than any of us here posting do!) Sad that it had to be an Asian dude to start the stereotype revealing in Hollywood, but why not. People already think Asians have tiny pricks. The fact that he does is just kind of a shocking wake-up call that might make people think about how true (or not true) their stupid assumptions are. I still think it might do some ignorant people out there some good. If they're looking for a laugh at others' expense, maybe they can get out their meanness in the theater at Ken's expense, and since he's a high paid actor who made a conscious decision, I kinda think he can handle it. I tend to think art can't hurt, and it might help. :)

    My 2 cents'.

    P.S. And yes, I was one of those Googlers. I got curious! lol

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  13. I think it's great that Jeong is comfortable with himself.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.There are people,like myself who find tiny penis' very attractive. That being said, I understand the uncomfortableness in America with stereotypes.Because of our history of racial tension, people can be very hung up and uptight.We have alot of cultural garbage and prejudices to get over and it will take time

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  14. ( this blog is awesome, props to Eurasian sensation) Jeong is an amazing comedian, I put him up there in high regards with Louis Ck David Cross and some other comedians I gravitate towards. Condom companies will reveal (to those who are crazy like me and seek out this obscure information :) ) that the stereotypes are true in regards to asian, white and black men, generally (obviously tons of asian men with huge dicks, and black men with tiny penises are out there, they are exceptions, remember 7 billion humans on the planet now). The companies need to be efficient in making money, so they have to get the right size condoms to their client base. Being the crazy person that I am, I invest time in enlarging my penis (it is real, but not commonplace in todays society, more so in ancient indigenous cultures but this practice is still alive and well) All men can benefit from this if they put forth a dedicated discipline like you would for weightlifting. Hanging weights jelqing clamping pumping, anything to create plastic deformation of collagenous tissues in regards to both length and girth. Look, I kind of agree with Eurasian sensation, perhaps Jeong did neglect his responsiblilty to represent Asian men better but we all fuck up sometimes :)

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    Replies
    1. no cuestiona el tigre Chino!!! me entiendes!!!!

      Delete