First known 'gay' caveman
Scientists say that they have uncovered the first known gay caveman 5000 years after his death. Archeologists have uncovered the grave of a man they believed to have died between 2900 and 2500 B.C. and was seemingly buried in a way that suggests he was homosexual.
The skeleton of the man, found during an excavation in the Czech Republic, was found on his left side with his head facing west, buried with household jugs and no weapons.
An oval-shaped jug was also found near the feet of the skeleton.
During that period, men were traditionally buried with weapons, hammers and flint knives, and their bodies were placed on their right side with the head facing east.
Women were interred with their bodies on the left, head facing west, and buried with necklaces made from teeth, pets, and copper earrings, as well as domestic jugs and an egg-shaped pot placed near the feet.
Scientists are certain that the body placement was not a mistake, as customs were very strict on burial and funerals at the time.
"From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake," said lead researcher Kamila Remisova Vesinova.
"Far more likely is that he was a man with a different sexual orientation, homosexual or transvestite. What we see here does not add up to traditional Corded Ware cultural norms."
There had been previous skeletons discovered where a female warrior had been buried like a man, and Siberian shamans, or witch doctors, had been buried in a similar way to the "gay" caveman, another member of the archaeological team, Katerina Semradova, said.
"This later discovery was neither of those. We believe this is one of the earliest cases of what could be described as a transvestite or third-gender grave in the Czech Republic."
This reminds me of the time at university when a female classmate was convinced I was gay because I enjoyed cooking, was vegetarian, and carried a small tube of moisturiser in my bag. Ok, maybe that does sound a bit gay, but whatever the case, I'm not. Sometimes, people are just individuals and don't fit neatly into narrow gender role stereotypes. Maybe the caveman buried with household jugs was a rabidly heterosexual ladies-man who just, well, had a thing for household jugs. And how do we know that one of the uber-manly cavemen buried with axes and knives wasn't also mad for cock?
Incidentally, they are not even cavemen, technically. By 2900 BC, Europeans most certainly had farms and houses and maybe even closets.