Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A bit about Asian men and white women

Ok, so there's a post up at the moment on a blog (Ask Bossy) attached to one of Australia's major newspapers, and it's entitled, "Why don't Anglo women like Asian men?"

You can read it here; some of the comments are particularly interesting, especially if you find ignorance interesting.

While there are certainly white women out there who favour Asian men, and many who will consider anyone regardless of race, the overall trend is that AM/WW couples are rare, far rarer than WM/AW.

Most people date within their race; that's obvious and understandable. You go with what you know. And particularly if you are white in a white-majority country, because there are simply far more white people to choose from. But even in areas where there are plenty of Asian guys available, white women seem not go for them to any great degree.

As you might understand, there is some definite resentment from Asian males about this phenomenon. I confess that I have noticed this sentiment in myself, despite being a product of the very kind of relationship (WM/AW) that spurs this ill feeling. The resentment stems from several factors. One is the sense of unfairness that white guys are cherry-picking women from the Asian dating pool, but the same interest is not being shown to the Asian man, with the implication that Asian men are somewhere near the bottom of the hierarchy of desirableness. Secondly, it is the traditional and sexist consternation about outsiders taking "our women". Thirdly, it is the feeling that this is another manifestation of the racism suffered by Asian men, related to the unflattering perceptions of them propagated by popular culture. This goes along with the suspicion that Asian women are brainwashed into falling for a Western standard of attractiveness. As well, I think many Asian men subconsciously associate this with a kind of Western imperialism; a sort of "dating colonialism" if you will, a modern extension of the European powers invading Asian countries and appropriating their riches.

Pictured above: Rupert Murdoch and Wendi Deng
Below: Lolo Soetoro and Ann Dunham. Dunham's son Barack Obama is on the right of the picture.

So why are there comparatively so few AM/WW couples?

Let me say first up that this isn't a totally one-way street. Asian guys are not really breaking down doors en masse to date white women. Asian men tend to prefer Asian women, as you would expect. And given the high importance placed on family approval, many Asian men feel pressured to date, and certainly marry, only within their ethnicity. However, there is certainly a degree of interest there. Especially when you factor in that the greatest number of available women in a Western country are white, and how popular culture prioritises white women's beauty above all others. I think it is fair to say that there is somewhat more interest from Asian men towards white women than there is vice versa.

A point is frequently made that Asian men are generally less likely to approach white women. I believe this to be true. And while you could ascribe this to a lack of interest in white women and/or a lack of confidence among Asian men, I think both of those factors are entwined with the negative stereotypes about Asian men. The perceptions of the Asian male as being less masculine and less well-endowed mean that even when those are untrue, an Asian man might be more reluctant to approach a non-Asian woman, because he assumes that those beliefs are being held about him.  In the game of attraction, it doesn't really matter if Asians really are less manly; if a significant segment of women think they are, then that is a significant enough obstacle.

And like it or not, that is a very real perception. So many of the female commenters on Ask Bossy echo the same lines - "nothing against them, I just don't find Asian males attractive - they seem less masculine to me."

What is that based on?

We all have particular ideas about what defines masculine and feminine. Some of these are biologically programmed, but some are also culturally specific and thus a result of our socialisation. An example would be how African cultures prefer fuller-figured women than today's Western societies; paleontologists also suggest that prehistoric Europeans, based on some of their works of art, also prioritised fuller figures. So to simply categorise certain characteristics are simply either masculine or feminine is problematic, since each culture has its own variation on these themes.

We ascribe certain physical qualities as being masculine - height, a strong build, and a hairy body. Likewise, certain personality traits are considered masculine - loudness, dominance and control, toughness and so on.

One thing to consider is that a white woman might judge Asian men not simply on how he measures up to these stereotypes, but importantly, how a white woman might measure up to these stereotypes if she is partnered with an Asian man. It is quite likely that in any potential AM/WW pairing, the white woman will be as tall or taller than the Asian man, and possibly have more body hair. This may make some white women feel less feminine in comparison, and this might be a disincentive to date an Asian man.

One factor that doesn't get mentioned much is age, or more correctly, one's apparent age. It is generally accepted that all things being equal, people of Asian background tend to look younger than Caucasians of the same age. Height and the amount of facial hair also play a part in this perception. Now while a more youthful appearance is generally seen as a good thing, for males looking for a mate it can be a hindrance. The general trend is for women to seek a man of the same age or older; many women are less interested in a younger man, or at least one who seems younger. A man who looks younger might be seen to be less authoritative and powerful, which are attributes closely tied to masculine appeal.

Personality-wise, Asian men do not tend to display quite the same kind of machismo that is more prevalent in some Western cultures. Of course, Asian men are no less chauvinistic or egocentric than other types of men; but they do not always express them in the same ways. (An example is that while Asian societies are often quite violent in their own way, you are far more likely to be beaten up for no reason by drunk young men in Australia than anywhere in Asia.) The dominant stereotype of the young Asian male is someone who wears glasses and studies really hard at school; this does not fit the Western preconception of young manhood.

A few people commenting at Ask Bossy bring up that old stereotype, penis size. Now since many of those are women, I'm a little surprised; I didn't realise many women were superficial enough to disregard a guy based on how big they assume his penis might be. While I'm obviously not a woman and therefore don't know, overall I don't think it's a large part (tee hee) of what motivates women when choosing a mate. I've asked plenty of girls out in my lifetime, and not once has anyone said, "Maybe, let me inspect your penis first and I'll think about it." Which personally, I'm quite glad about.

Of course, many of the commenters who raise the small penis stereotype appear to be white men. Now it has long been my theory that white men are the primary cultivators of this stereotype, as a way to make themselves feel superior. Personally I find it odd that otherwise heterosexual men would spend so much time contemplating the Asian penis, so I figure that it is ultimately tied into some deep-seated subconscious machismo-and-racism combo.

(As to whether the stereotype is true - well, I'm not an expert in phalluses other than my own, but I'm pretty sure they come in all shapes and sizes. In every racial group, there will be some big, some small, and many average. There's probably some truth in the stereotype overall - given that Asians tend to be physically smaller in stature anyway -  but if so the average difference is unlikely to be greater than an inch, really.)


I've avoided talking about black people in this discussion so far, especially as in the Australian context, they are not all that numerous. But in the popular imagination, people of African descent occupy a particular role when it comes to ideas of masculinity and femininity. Africans are often seen as somehow more masculine, due to perceptions such as the black athlete, and of the stereotypically large African penis. With Asian men occupying the opposite end of this spectrum of stereotypes, white men occupy their usual position - the middle, as "the norm".

I've heard this referred to around the place as the "Three Bears Effect". As in the story of Goldilocks, who tasted three bowls of porridge, one too hot, one too cold, but one that was "just right". So when we factor other racial stereotypes into the equation, we have a complete picture of how these stereotypes seem set up to benefit white males. Black males are manly but dumb and uncivilised; Asians are smart but are not manly; while white males are "just right".

Whether you agree with this idea or not, it is important to recognise that in the West our entire way of thinking conditions us to see the white male as "the norm", around which everyone else is measured.

Thus under this way of thinking, an Asian male's comparative lack of body hair might be seen as a sign of femininity. Through an Asian mindset, in which an Asian body is the norm, white men might be considered too hairy.


So, is it racist for white women to find Asian men less attractive?

No. Well, not really. Sort of.

Attraction is not something you choose. We all have our own individual preferences for certain types of people, be it based on height, colour, gender, sense of humour. So you can't just decide you are going to be attracted to someone if you are not inclined to find them attractive.

I personally have been attracted to people of every racial category that I have met; however, I instinctively find myself paying the most attention to women of East Asian or South Asian background. It was not always this way; as a teenager, growing up in a more Anglo-centric environment, I had very little interest in Asian girls and found white girls much more attractive. But my perception of what is normal, and what is attractive, shifted as I moved from high school to university and into a circle of largely non-white friends.

But how does it get to be that we are attracted to certain types and not others?

It has a lot to do with how we are conditioned. Whatever culture or society you grow up in has its own social conditioning which encourages you to see certain characteristics as being more attractive than others. In a country like Australia, we are conditioned to regard thin Nordic (fair haired, light eye colour) women as the epitome of beauty. This is changing gradually of course, but that unconscious perception is deeply embedded in our consciousness.

Which is one reason why so many Asians, and non-white people in general, decry the way they are portrayed in the media, because it is the media that helps perpetuate these ideals. If we saw more leading male Asian actors on our TV screens, there would be a shift in this perception, to some degree at least. Contrast that with the number of attractive Asian women on TV; they are probably still underrepresented, but not to the same degree as Asian men.


At the end of the day, whatever the overall trend, it doesn't have to impact on individual encounters. Whatever your race, you need to assess someone for who they are, not what race they are. Asian brothers, if a white woman dismisses your approach because she has some twisted perception that you are less manly, then don't worry; you don't need her anyway. There are plenty of women out there, white and otherwise, who will appreciate you for who you are.



See also:

Jen Kwok: "Date an Asian (or at least f**k one)"

The Asian penis in popular culture

Race and Dating: "What is it with you and Indian chicks?"

Interracial dating trends in the USA

125 comments:

  1. Maybe it's because it's my dad that's Asian and my mum that's white but I don't find "Asian males" (whatever that actually means - I find Japanese males considerably different in looks and behaviour in general than say, Thai ones) less attractive per se; the whole time I lived in Japan, I was up for dating Japanese guys but not a single bite (I look pretty white to the untrained eye). And it's not like I was just waiting around. I had a lot of white girlfriends in Japan who felt the same.

    In Thailand though, it was different and I had a Thai boyfriend for 6 months.
    In fact, there are quite a few Thai male/White female relationships there though maybe not as many as the other way around...
    Interesting analysis anyway, that's just my anectdotal evidence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't want to sound bookish, but from what I've learned in AP Psychology, a person typically looks for a mate that has similar qualities as their parent of the opposite sex (although I couldn't tell you whether character or physical traits were more important). In your case, being the daughter of an Asian man, you are most likely to be attracted to Asian males as your father served presumably as the most significant masculine figure your young life where perceptions of attractiveness are generally established. To make sure this wasn't bullshit, I observed the bf and gf preferences of other Hapas like you and it seems true

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    2. Not to be pedantic, but is there a possibility that AAMI's story of Rhonda and Katuch was inspired from your life story?

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  2. Yes - its pretty weird concepts asian males tend to have regarding asian-white relationships in general. I feel I have been guilty of this too - if one of my friends scores with a white girl, its all hi-5's and calls of 'playa playa'... and yet an Indian girl with a white guy would cause me and most of my friends to call her a 'slut' or something along those lines.

    I guess it must be tied in to some of the colonial sentiments that may be linked to our subconscious.

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  3. @ Nihar:

    it's probably one of those ancient tribal things... have your way with their women, but don't let them have their way with yours.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Of course, many of the commenters who raise the small penis stereotype appear to be white men. Now it has long been my theory that white men are the primary cultivators of this stereotype, as a way to make themselves feel superior."

    Hi, I found your blog via the Minority Militant site.

    You made an interesting point above, I wrote an entry on roughly the same subject here. I tend to think of white male sexual bluster as a result of extreme insecurity.

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  5. Asian men appear to be in the same position as black women. They are viewed as less masculine, and black women as less feminine.

    It's bizarre conditioning. Ironically, survey after survey continue to show Asian males as being closer to the traditional masculine than any other group.


    PS. I think penis size matters more to men than it does to women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes...but women like men with CONFIDENCE.So their concern over penis size (like muscles/body abilities)has an indirect affect on your happiness as a women also...think about that!Us men get our confidence and esteem/ from being around other men...horse play,sports..etc... WOMEN LIKE CONFIDENCE.Its a male thing alright but when thought about deeply,does hold substantial credit.Also many women are becoming more physically inclined,rather than emotionally so (masculinization?)and with pornography being all other the internet and more and more young girls (and boys)being exposed to rather large penises (for the large part still)this penis size importance is going to only become stronger IMO amongst boys/men and girls/women...who again LIKE CONFIDENCE above all,despite some of their claims...just like when women say they PREFER for the most part (some truth) more sensitive/emotional men..they contradict themselves when their nice sensitive man...fails (naturally) to ward of the insensitive,masculine,stoic competitors...Yes again,regardless of what modern women say about (true)equality(emotional)between them and men,they still expect you to "MANUP" when convient/important..which can mean summoning up confidence which either just isn't their anymore or hasn't been tapped into regularly enough to be consistently practiced..like expecting a pitbull to behave like a poodle dog around family ,then throwing it into the ring and complainig that it got ripped to shreads and didn't fight hard enough.....see my point here.Even many civilized,smart,business,academically inclined,men have a sense of primal importance with these types of things.....things women WILL NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND..because their "NOT MEN".Mens self esteem/pride,ego (or lack of) always affects women ultimatley...so rather than minimize/undermine and laugh at these male concerns,you should learn to see "the forest for the trees",so to speak ;)

      SIZE ALWAYS MATTERS TO MEN...even the ruthless/fearless little bastards,who usually always come back (prison,one example)to that 'BIG DADDY/LITTLE BOY' understanding,because big ruthless/fearless men STILL HAVE MORE.........ABILITY!!!! that ultimately bieng the 'KEY' trait...ABILITY,a knowing if you like

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    2. This is definately an avantage for me being GAY...not that i conciously choose this orientation but i'm one of the so-called few (who agress to some extent its choice,not genetics) who more than likey came to be by a subconcious decision (gradual)and again so from learning it to be more pratical (for me)and less stressful as a male (again early life lessons in expectations and social ideals).I think personally being gay is easier (once you get used to the teasing/ mild discrimination in this day and age)than being straight identified and all the expectations that go with that,that can literally do mens heads in and drive them to desperate measures...poor bastards.

      Just to end,again i'll clarify that if it matters to men,it matters to you in the end also.

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    3. AS far as penis size in a hertero-sexual Chinese man-- each person is a total package to a woman! If his penis is attached to a very smart professional- then that is what is important to a WOMAN! He is a total package and more desirable than some ignorant, uneducated man who is so concerned about his appendage!

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    4. Yes Absolutely,

      Some people rather marry to their toys.

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    5. Size and appearance of the va-jay-jay matters to men too.

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    6. The sort of swaggering arrogance you are labelling as "confidence" here is really only attractive to the most vacuous of women...

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  6. Eurasian, is it possible to change your comment settings, so the comments appear at the bottom of the post instead of a separate window?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Damn. Just lost a long rambling post in cyberspace.
    But yes - I find that "they're taking our women" misogynistic - the whole ownership thing.
    I thought about the ppl I know who are in WF/AM relationships, and there's a disproportionate number of French women. Or maybe I just know a lot of French people.
    Also was thinking about how if I had grown up at my point of origin, I would have had exposure to hot celebrities of my own race and a bigger pool of hot men of my own race. eg. I only discovered Tony Leung 10 years ago or so. I think he's hot and have since met a couple of guys who look like him who I thought were hot. But by then was married. There are few images of Asian women in the media, so we end up all self hating and thinking we're weird looking ourselves.
    And yes hypergamy, power...had conversation with some dude who had a fetish for dark skinned Asian chicks so he used to just fly into S'pore and pick them up. Can't really see a white woman CEO doing the same thing - I'm sure some do. I knew a woman (white) who found joy at the end of a Sherpa penis and so kept going back for more.
    re: Nordic ideal - def. right there. I grew up thinking, oh I can never be a blond. Gosh it's all so damaging.
    But you are right ES...it's about the individual.

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  8. @ Mel:

    is it possible to change your comment settings, so the comments appear at the bottom of the post instead of a separate window?

    I'll check it out and see if that's possible. I know that if you are viewing this post only (as opposed to viewing it from the homepage), the comments appear at the bottom. As far as I know you have to open a new window to leave a comment however.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Amazing post. I'm planning to write an intelligent and longish comment, but until then, one thing:

    I confess that I have noticed this sentiment in myself, despite being a product of this very kind of relationship.

    Were you referring to yourself, Eaurasian Sensation? I thought your mother was Asian and dad white.

    Also, while I do believe many Asian males want to be with Asian females (be it because of attraction or family), Aisan men are MEN, and men usually don't care about ethnicity when it comes to pure attraction. If some refuse to date outside the race it's because social factors, but I don't think men of any race exclude based on ethnicity alone, and even the most racist ones would "do" an attractive female of any race.

    So all in all, the answer for the lack of white woman/Asian man unions can't be the fact Asian men are not interested.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and men usually don't care about ethnicity when it comes to pure attraction...
      um, no... I had not, and will not date a xenomorph queen, and I don't care you calling me racist for that...

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  10. Also, I am not anglo but I do find Asian men attractive- does that count? :P

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  11. @ Mira:
    You misunderstood that sentence, although looking at it again I didn't express it very clearly. I've changed it in the blog post.

    You surmise correctly about my parents. That's why it is weird and hypocritical that I would find myself with some resentful feelings towards WM/AW couples.

    I await your upcoming intelligent and longish comment!

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  12. This post is a classic example of over intellectualism - as I really find it hard to believe that white women are somehow “racist” whereas white males often like Asian females. Actually there is a very good reason for this. And it’s pretty obvious when you think about it - but it’s not due to “racism”. It’s called HEIGHT. That is nearly all men like to date a woman shorter than themselves and women like a taller partner! I would find it very difficult to date a woman taller than myself – in fact I never have but then I am pretty tall. It’s just not nice. But as Asians get taller due to more Western diets, then Western woman will date them. Look at how many white women date black guys for example. Well, that’s my 2 cents worth (from a white guy with an Asian partner!) Cheers.

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    1. on a side note, how tall would be good? I mean I am like 5"9' or 10', but I am asian so that makes me automatically short...(jklol) yeah, s'that tall enough?

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  13. @ Tempo Dulu:

    I'm a bit perplexed that you read the entire post and decided that my main conclusion was that "white women are racist".

    Height is a big factor, I'm sure, but there is clearly more to it.

    Look at how many white women date black guys for example

    Sure. What about white men dating black women?

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  14. I blame the media. The media says that Asians are Feminine and Africans are masculine which leads to the gender disparities in interracial dating. Most women are not doing the approaching but they are doing the accepting or rejecting. Some guys may be afraid to approach because they've heard black women only like black guys. I've had maybe 5 non black guys approach me in my entire life. So guys of any race if you see a girl you like, go ahead and flirt! If she reacts positively then get her number. Rejection only stings for a short time.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Though not the same thing I think I can relate to you having the resentment of seeing white men/asian women couples despite being the product of one.

    My dad is Jewish and my mom not but I was raised Jewish and see myself as such. A lot of Jewish men go for non-Jewish women because Jewish women are apparently ugly, too much like their mother whatever. It bugs me that so many Jewish men go for non-Jewish women, even though I am the product of one of those relationships.

    I think it is because I see myself as an insider in Judaism, and the non-Jewish women as outsiders, thus lowering the (desirable) dating pool. Also because Jewish women are pressured to marry Jewish men and not so much the other way around. What I can't relate too is how Asian women being exoticized by white men makes you feel, because while Jewish men may be stereotyped they are still most often white men themselves.

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    1. gee, that a thing? I mean, I probably won't date a Jewish due to religion issues( no, not my religion, hers, I can't live with a strict christian) but they are considered ugly? how?...

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  16. The more I learn about anthropology, the more I believe nurture wins over nature. In other words, most of the things are cultural, even those that don't seem such.

    There's no biological reason for straight women to reject one huge group of men. It just doesn't make sense. You might not like one guy, but there's gotta be some that you do like.

    The only biological reason for rejecting all group of men is to see them as so strange, unfamiliar and not even human. Having aversion to other species, or even sick individuals of our own species is said to make evolutionary sense.

    However, there's nothing about Asian men to make them look unhealthy or like members of another species- CULTURE is one that makes white women see Asian men as such. (This can also be said about whites and blacks).

    So yes, not being attracted to a particular Asian man is not racist per se, but not being attracted to Asian men in general- it is racist in a way.

    You're right: attraction is not something you choose. But it's often something others (culture, media, etc) choose for you. It's often not your genes telling you a certain individual is not worth your time- it's often cultural. (And it's not limited to racism. White men were crazy about curvy women a 50 years ago... And it's different today. And I bet it's not because of some genetic mutation within one generation or something).

    Now, growing up in a non-western culture, I was exposed to different kind of stereotypes, and Asian men being "feminine" was not one of them. However, I never met one and I was exposed to many western media products, such as movies and TV series, and there are not many (if any) decent Asian characters. But somehow, I didn't catch the nerdy stereotype, more of a martial artist or a comic relief sidekick. And while martial artist is hardly effeminate, they are almost never presented as hot, attractive males and are almost never paired with white women.

    So it's media. And while I know personal experience is a different thing, media help shaping public image. It's what makes Asian men "unattractive".

    ReplyDelete
  17. And to continue.
    (yes, there's more!)

    Now, we talked about media and stereotypes. Let's see about Asian men now.

    (None of this comes from a personal experience, since I have none. But there are some conclusions that can be made).

    Asian men are short

    If this is really true, ok, they are short. And women like tall men. Cruel and shallow as it sounds, it's often the case. But it's less and less surprising to see tall woman/short man couplings, and plus, white women in this case don't simply say "I don't prefer short men"- they say they don't prefer Asian men. And it's not the same.

    Age
    Honestly, I dong get it, since I don't really like older men. Or men with excessive facial or body hair. So it can only be a plus for "typical" Asian men in my book. And I know for sure many women don't like hairy men or those who look like their dads.

    Personality
    I don't know what to say here, since I never met one. Cultural differences can play a part here, because if you (you being a white woman) are used at men behaving a certain way if they like you, want to date you, and Asian men don't do that, you might get confused. Also, if you are used to telling which guy is a quality one and which one doesn't deserve your time, it might not work for men of another culture.

    But none of this is a definite relationship killer. Especially if an Asian man and a white woman are citizens of the same country (so cultural differences can't be THAT huge).

    And speaking of huge...

    Penis size
    Penis size is not that important for women (I do hope we all learned that- as well as the fact smaller stature doesn't automatically means a small penis!!!)- at least not when it comes to technical aspects of an intercourse. As long as it's healthy, functional and ready, most women don't care about dimensions. (The colour might be another thing, as we see in this article- so we're back to racism).

    However, there is one aspect in which penis size is important for most of the women, and that is man's confidence. Women like men who are confident and they don't want a guy who is ashamed of his own body and especially not the one who need to constantly be assured "everything is fine in that department". So a guy who thinks he has a small penis can be annoying for many woman. Same goes for a guy who thinks he's oh, so well endowed that he doesn't have to do anything to actually please a woman, sexually or otherwise. They are worse than the insecure ones.

    What does this have to do with Asian men? Possibly nothing. However, due to the stereotype, maybe they project it to see Asian men as insecure?

    PS-This might be not particularly intelligent and insightful, but you can't say it wasn't long. ;)

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    1. Asian men are short
      just to add on to that... Know Jet Lee? yeah? cool guy that actually stayed in shaolin and learned real martial arts before going in films? I suppose he is like an asian stereotype ( ha... get it?..."stereo" type... yeah i should kill myself ) and a goodlooking one at that, so many americans went off and supposed asian men all looks like that, so like 5 feet flat... Heck no, I mean, middle schoolers are somewhat taller than him, the time in training of certain martial arts makes you not grow length wise if you start early like he did, and he is quite a specialty in the asian group. just saying... damn hollywood stereotypes... heard that they work with illuminati... by the laws of satan they are not welcomed in hell... (jklol)

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  18. I decided I would put a bit of a personal note amongst the theories here with my story. I am a white female who actually likes asian males but things have never quite worked out there. My theory is that it is often not just the white girls who propogate this issue but asian boys as well.

    I am not an unattractive person and white or Polynesian (I live in new Zealand)guys- seem to like me.

    With regards to a theory out there on asian guys not liking bigger white girls size- I was a skinny size 6 (american size 4) as a young woman and I grew curvier in my mid twenties. I did have a go at an asian guy who I was friendly with at one point when he told me to go on a diet for being a healthy size 12 (American size 10).

    I really liked a chinese boy once, and we are still vauge friends. We used to hang out a bit when I was 21 (and skinny). I didn't think he liked me though. I never would have made the first move and we just hung out and chatted day in and day out. I knew his father was in the communist party but once brought the possibility of us being together up in a round about way. I said that since there was a shortage of chinese girls maybe chinese boys should date western girls-how much more obvious should I have been? Anyway, he said he would rather date a chinese peasant. We stopped seeing each other after that.

    Five years later he tracked me down and I met up with him. I had been in a committed relationship with somebody since just after he had rejected me. He was all friendly, his english was better. He was going on about how great I looked which took me aback since I was now a bit bigger. Anyway-he launched into how his former girlfriend had been a white girl and she had been so lovely. He told me how the chinese girl before her had given him hell. He showed me all these pictures of this white girl and I got the impression that that may be why he had tracked me down. Obviously I was with somebody and made that clear from the beginning of our catch up so he had no ideas about making me his next western conquest. Maybe he just wanted me to know he had taken my advice from all those years ago.

    Anyway, i do think it does come from both sides. As somebody who could happily have ended up with an asian guy I am now with a white guy beacause asian guys simply didn't like me or were held back by their own cultural issues.

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  19. @ Anon: thanks for your interesting comment.

    I wonder if your friend felt bad for his earlier dismissal of white women and wanted to acknowledge that you might have been right?

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  20. Out of curiosity how do asian women tend to perceive black men? Also, about black women and their perceived lack of femininity: It seems like men of other races are downright scared of black women sometimes. I don't know why except that the media is telling half-truths. Of course some black women are unfeminine and loud and rude, but I went to an HBCU. I've met so many black women of so many different kinds. They're just women, fellas. lol. Talk to them with confidence. I see no reason why an asian man couldn't be successful with white or black women. I don't know what the asian males' experience is really like. Just go for it though.

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    1. well, in my few encounters with black women, the problem i found was that they are not nice... you know how if there is something you don't like you would just be polite about it? and you know how you should keep a smile on your face for that nice first impression? Well i have seen that once in my encounters with black girls, only once! and she was like twice as old as me... if black girls would at least act like the youtuber GIoZell, i would't mind anything else... smile more and act like a homie! at least don't intimidate me...

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  21. @ Huggums:
    it's hard to speak for all Asian women obviously. I suppose their opinions of black men cover the whole spectrum. I know for example that in Japan, black men have a "cool factor" that attracts a lot of Japanese women; yet Japanese as a whole are fairly prejudiced about black people. The Chinese as a whole are VERY prejudiced towards blacks.
    Regarding Asian men and black women, I guess a lot of people assume that the stereotypical black woman is a bit too loud and aggressive for the stereotypical reserved Asian man. But of course, these are stereotypes - sometimes true, sometimes not.

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  22. I am a 35 year old single, professional black woman of Jamaican parentage, and i am attracted to a 5k sikh gentleman. This man has persued me for the last 6 months, not in a stalking nightmareish way, but caring, friendly manner. We talk and text nearly every day for the last 2 months and finally went out on a date, he took me to lunch. He was respectful, intellegent, funny and religious. He told me it took him over 5 months to admitt he had feelings for me. I have only ever dated Jamaican men, no other race. my family would acept this man because he makes me happy, however he said if his family didn't give us their blessing he would continue with me anyway. i think this would be wrong and said so. How do i show these people we are a respectful family.

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  23. @ Leah:

    I didn't realise this was a dating advice blog! But as someone who is pretty familiar with dating South Asians, including a Sikh, I'm happy to tell you a few things:

    Obviously not every Indian thinks the same. But it is fair to say that the average conservative Sikh family are not going to be overjoyed at one of their number dating a black woman.

    Don't worry, it could be worse. You could be a Muslim. (Maybe you are? I dunno.) They'd never get over that.

    You never know. They may be completely accepting. It really depends how nice they are and how progressive they are. Many Sikhs are as modern and forward-thinking as anyone else. But quite a few still have the village mentality.

    You need to be prepared for them not to give their blessing. That's just the way it is. Many Indian parents will bitch and moan like little schoolgirls about who their child wants to go out with. However, that doesn't mean you give up. If they see that he is serious, they may realise that they have to just accept it. They may grit their teeth and go along with things, although they may be embarassed to tell their community that their son is with a black woman.

    Obviously if you are respectful and "a good catch" that will smooth the way a bit. Study up a bit about Indian and Sikh culture & food.

    Don't give up just because his family are resistant. If they say no, that's just the start of the battle.

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  24. Hi Eurasian sensation - this is the "I'm sorry Andrew Bolt article I told you about at the Peril launch :) http://newmatilda.com/2008/02/15/andrew-bolt-please-forgive-us

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  25. I agree it is all about conditioning. I am one of those "mixed" people who people are always asking if I'm Italian, Greek, Japanese, Eurasian, Spanish...the list goes on. People just need to label me. (For the record my Dad is Danish and Mum is of English and Maori heritage) So I think growing up with this question of what group I belonged to actually allowed me to have an open mind about cultures (even if I did grow up in country Western Australia) I'm happy to say I do find Asian men quite attractive, but a lot is to do with their general demeanor and what Western culture tries to portray as "feminine". I simply find them to be more gentlemen-like which for me also says that person is secure about themselves. This is true for the ones I have dated anyway. Nothing worse than a white macho man who is so insecure he has to resort to making Asian penis jokes.

    What I'm trying to say is if you grow up automatically categorized into a particular race because you look brown enough to be South Asian or White enough to be Nordic then the values and beliefs of the society you grow up in about that race will somehow effect you, we all know that.

    It would be interesting to study groups of people "on the outer" like me who no one could ever categorize - "Is she white, brown or rainbow?" - To see if they tend to have more of an open mind towards who they date, and can see past the colour.

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  26. Ok..I wrote a long post which got wiped when I logged in so I am now going to be short and snippy (as in pissed off). Me: white woman, feminine looking, very short, busty, not fat. Find a lot of Asian men attractive, don't think they are feminine. Hardly ever got any interest from Asian guys, except 1 or 2 Japanese men and more Indian guys. Never from Chinese men. Only ever seen 2 chinese man/white woman relationships in years of observation, and the guys in question were locally born. Asked Chinese Malay male friend "Why don't Asian men like White Women" His answer: "They are scared of them" He then implied that a lot of Asian men don't think White women are very feminine, and that they think their tiny penises can never fill the gaping vagina of a white woman. So It seems that a lot of Asian, particularly Chinese men have massive inferiority complexes, and some deep seated xenophobic prohibition against marrying out, not shared by Asian women. Well that's the information I have gleaned so far, but if any actual asian men would like to comment, and perhaps lesson my disappointment??

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  27. @ burninglove:

    sorry about the deleted comment, I dunno whats up with blogger sometimes.

    I think all the criticisms you make about Asian men are true of some people to varying extents.
    It's true that some Asian guys find white women a little less feminine - a lot of guys don't want a woman who is taller than they are and have more body hair, which can often be the case.

    I do think that you must bear in mind that while you may be into Asian guys, most white women tend to be a bit more ambivalent towards them. So a lot of Asian guys might not really register you on their radar from the outset, since they are not used to getting those vibes from "your kind".

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  28. Hi again,
    Yeah, another comment I made for one of your other entries didn't post either. I'm trying to start a proper blog on one of the other platforms as soon as I can figure out an appropriate title that hasn't already been taken.

    I am also starting to wonder if part of the asian man/white woman problem is some kind of culturally incompatible body language issue.

    I might notice someone walking by and think they are attractive, and perve a little (subtly I hope). If they then catch my eye and give me an interested once over, I will be more interested in them, because they obviously find me attractive. I would consider someone more favourably that I hadn't notice if they showed obvious interest in me. Women do generally like to feel that they are attractive to a man before they will invest any emotion in a potential relationship of any kind.

    Maybe South East Asian men (who are not born in Australia) are just a little bit too subtle with their signalling?) Even though my Anglo boyfriend is quite shy, and no rubbernecker, I could still tell quite early that he at least found me attractive. I guess only a non Australian born SE Asian girl who'd also been out with White guys could enlighten us on any difference in approach? I don't think this applies to Indian men, because they seem quite flirty. Anyway, I'm just glad I'm not single right now, so that all this musing is only 'scientific' interest.

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    1. @burninglove, man, i wish i had come across this blog earlier. i'm an chinese guy and my girlfriend is west indian/persian. the truth is that asian guys really are attracted to white women, it's just that they feel like they won't be "enough". so the natural reaction is to not indicate interest no matter how attractive they find non-asian girls. but the truth is that we really do taste the rainbow.

      most of us have just been conditioned by the media and tiger moms that the only women who'll accept us is asian women. which is really sad. so if you want an asian guy, you're gonna have to be really obvious. ask him out, or hint heavily that you're into asian guys, stuff like that. remember, he's the shy one. just leave him without a doubt that you're not playing a prank and you're genuinely interested. most asian guys are just clueless and assume too easily that they're unattractive.

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    2. This makes me so mad! I find Asian men SO attractive... I'm a 167cm tall Caucasian girl, average weight, I like to wear heels, don't care if bf is shorter than me, Central European heritage but not hairy (!), very pale white skin, big bright blue eyes... Please: Asian guys - where are you?! You're stunningly attractive to this white girl... approach me or don't run off when I approach you!

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  29. I am a WW have been in a relationship with my AM for 3 yrs. Stereotypes, is he smart, yes. Does he study / work hard, yes. Does he wear glasses, yes (when he drives).
    That's where the stereotype ends.
    He is 6ft 2. At the gym daily. Plays basketball and is an aggressive player. Also well endowed !
    The differences I have found in dating my AM he treats me as an equal. Respect, never swears around me, always opens doors for me.
    Some other reasons I love him so much, he is confident, goal oriented, motivates me, is funny, playful, honest, faithful.

    I don't have an issue dating man of another. But, I like a guy who is well built and over 6ft.
    I don't think race is so much an issue for many WW. But us WW do prefer a tall man.
    My AM gets drooled over all the time by women...

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    1. "I dont have an issue dating man of another"

      Agreed!

      "I dont think race is so mnuc an issue for many WW."

      I have never laughed so much in my 50 years or so living on this planet as I have at this statement!

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    2. Over 50 yrs old, your from a different generation. Young peoples views on dating people of a different race are more relaxed.
      I could be wrong...
      Oh well, Im glad u had a good laugh. ^_^

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  30. Why white women rarely date asian men.

    REASON: women care slightly less for looks than men.

    And so care more so for compatibility = culture & personality clash. eg asian culture for men is less macho and loud and arrogant while the west its manly and good so white girls by society are incline to like whats normal to them.

    While for asian women culturally they are more docile and men love that. And asian girls look as good as white girls on average so for guys both races have ticked all their boxes.

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    Replies
    1. Well, women care more for looks and money than men do.

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  31. Chalk one up for a WW/AM marriage. They do happen. Especially in places like Hong Kong. Things I've noticed:
    -women in these types of relationships tend to be shorter (I'm 5'3")
    -Family is an issue (usually both sides)
    -The Asian guy is usually taller and bigger than average
    -Most are raised overseas (eliminates language issues)
    -Most are more western

    What I've noticed anyways:)

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    1. Well, here in the USA, most Asian men are below 5'9" and often insecure when it comes to women, especially their own and those that are mixed Asian. I've met a lot of them through my mom and dad (who are both half Asian and White) and they always try to change everything about me since I'm a half Asian and White female as well as limit my dating pool to them only by putting down guys of other races, most notably White and Black (mainly Americans) as well as mixed ones, especially mixed Asians. If I expand my dating pool, yes, I'm considered a slut, whore, etc. and these are the common labels about girls who expand their dating pool here in North America. Even the media, such as TV shows like The Bachelorette, for example, give women the message that they should date and marry within their race only and that men of other races are crazy.

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  32. I must say the top pic of murdoch and his dragonlady just grosses me out.

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  33. I am a young American AM, and I have only ever been attracted to WW. This preference has been there ever since I was capable of having feelings of attraction; it's like a default for me.

    I have never doubted my ability to date WW and eventually be in a happy marriage with one. This is not overconfidence; I have just seen this scenario as the "default" or most likely one. One possible reason for this is my low identification with the typical stereotype of an AM: I am US-born, US-raised, outgoing, very articulate, goal-driven, have a "Western" mindset, and most of my closer friends are WM/WW. I usually avoid exclusively or dominantly Asian communities aside from my immediate family, which I am very close to, and I find that these communities have a hard time accepting me.

    Anyone who actually knows me doesn't consider me as a "true Asian" (e.g. "Yeah _____, but you're not really Asian" or "We need to recruit someone to get our Asian connection; sorry, ____, you don't count"). I often "forget" that I am an AM; it's not until someone brings it up that it becomes a conscious thought.

    Earlier this year, I had a particularly bad falling-out with a WW, which I will admit, has shaken my confidence. I still don't have any doubt that I will reach my goals in life--I have a good job, I have great friends and family, I possess charismatic social skills, I'm friendly and likeable, I consider myself attractive, and I'm healthy, educated, active, and multi-talented in the several activities and hobbies I pursue.

    Yet for the first time in my life as I bounce back, I am starting to have some worries about the romantic life, since I have a much smaller dating pool. These worries are most certainly in part due to my recent experience and could also be partly due to a recent relocation to an area where people are not as acclimated to American AM. However, I did not feel this way when I lived in Europe, where I was even more of a rare thing.

    Bottom line, I am beginning to see that my AM appearance can be a large obstacle, despite my attitudes and behavior being closer aligned to WM. And of all things, that is the one factor I have the least control of, just like my attraction to WW.

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    1. Yeah, I think the majority of any nation feels that they can get away with anything, however, if they're smart enough, they won't discriminate regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. There's a lack of understanding and acceptance in the world, but the more knowledge one has the better perception one develops. I blame poverty the big issue around the world and that's one reason there is so much hate because the poor get so desperate and will find other ways to ease the pain even if it's to cause violence, like the middle east for example, it's all about poverty.

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  34. Hi, my name is Krystal.

    I read this article and found it quite informative of how Asian men tend to feel with white women.

    Recently I found out of this great interest White men have for Asian women. I see it, since my best friend was an Asian girl from Filipino descent and she was the most caring friend and very smart. Although I wondered why there wasn't the same mutual feeling for Asian men, and reading this article it makes sense that cultural backgrounds and the unjustly media portrayed of Asian men in the West plays a big part.

    I think now many people are realizing how toxic the media is.

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  35. Personally I think some Asian guys are really hot
    Tess

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  36. Tess - Totally with you there! I love Asian faces, and Asian physique; in a crowd, I'm totally drawn to the Asian facial characteristics. I think it really is to each her own. I fell in love with Asian cultures years ago, and the aesthetic of the people and the culture grew on me. Sometimes, I wonder if it's the size difference... in height! Cause a woman wants to feel petite, I think, and Anglo women tend to be taller. AT almost 5'9" myself, I can understand that concern.

    But maybe it's the princess mentality; American Anglo women are desirous of loud, open protestations of love (revisit "You complete me"), but perhaps the cultural hindrance is that "suki da" is what you are more likely to get from a Japanese or other similar expression might stifle some of the excitement, maybe? IMHO. I'd go for a "suki" any day myself.

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  37. I've always been attracted to white women, perhaps brainwashed by the media. I've dated mostly white women and now married to one again, lol. I was told early on by my Korean parents that I as the only son in the family that I had a sense of duty to marry a Korean girl. Its like that with most Korean guys and other East Asian cultures I assume. How archaic.
    Well, that didn't last long when I started bringing home one white girlfriend after another after while they just gave up and love my wife. Moral of this story, keep persisting.
    Well, at least its lot easier for younger Korean American guys now. And they even got that whole Kpop thing going on, alot of white girls dig that that stuff.

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  38. @Sonnet
    Many Korean American guys are tall, I don't think its the height thing. My wife is slim 5'8" and I'm 6'1."

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  39. This is an interesting topic, and I would like to add a few points from my personal experience. I moved to NZ when I was 18 yrs old, and stayed there for 8 yrs before I moved my way to Melbourne..so a decade in a western society..I see myself has a lot of Asian values but also influnced a lot by western society.
    One thing I got say is in any relationship, both parties need have similar fundemental believes and desires to want similar things..if its not the case, then one party has to compromise..so that itself makes interarcial relationship a bit hard especially in AMWF situation, where WMAF is a bit different as asian female are very submissive when it comes to hubby and family.
    Second, as the only son in the family, I have been presurred a lot by my parents only marrying within my own race! I dated numerious of white female and there were a couple even my parents acknowledged their inner/outter beauty, yet they just cant let it go with this food/language barrier..I dont blame on them, they eat Chinese all their life and speak zero amount of English...
    Third, I have been teased and even assaulted when I was dating wfs..they were called names to be with an Asian guy!
    All the factors above, I would say asian male being sterotyped is true, but its not the main factor..there are plenty of wf I met who will not consider race is a factor..but there practical reasons and culture barriers its so hard to overcome sometimes you ask if its worth it?!

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  40. Definitely found this an interesting topic as a WF married to an AM. I agree with the "nurture trumps nature" comment in the sense that I have always found myself attracted to other races, particularly Asians.

    While my nature tends toward non-conformity/rebelliousness, my upbringing was also one of acceptance; if that hadn't been the case who knows which side would have won. I believe if these factors are not present in others then they are far less likely to pursue whatever their natural inclinations may be - same race or not. As I'm seeing more and more Asian men being presented as sex symbols in pop culture I'm noticing a wider acceptance of them as viable partners for non-Asian women.

    Interestingly, I have noticed that by virtue of my AM/WF relationship several of my non-Asian female friends seem more open and interested in dating Asian men. Herd-mentality kind of thing...

    I do agree that many people who perpetuate the small penis stereotype are simply jealous and insecure. I don't mean for this to come across as hubris but I've been told many times I could have my pick as far as men go, yet I'm with an Asian guy. That is obviously insulting for anyone to insinuate your partner is inherently the "bottom of the barrel" [even though he is amazing!=)]. Statements like those are reflective of the speaker's own insecurities more than anything else, though it's still rude and completely unnecessary.

    In the end we should stay true to ourselves and not worry about how society is saying we should be living. Race and culture are obstacles an open mind can overcome. Nor is there anything wrong with finding love inside ones own race. I just wanted to share my two cents and hopefully encourage others to not be swayed by anything but their heart. Thanks for the thoughtful article!

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  41. Thanks for the interesting posts. As a first generation Canadian from England I myself have been attracted to men from many races and nationalities. I find myself preferring the personalities and attitudes of Asian and black guys because in my experience they are less intimidated by white women than white guys are. I'm not sure why. However, I do feel the pressure to date and eventually marry a white guy because in my family there have never been mixed marriages so to speak. I don't mind for myself, but something about having children who won't have my blue eyes,freckles, red/brown hair etc. seems to bother me for some reason. Will my kids look like me? Is that wrong? I hope it is not extreme vanity, but in any case, it's how I feel. There is also the 'Britishness' of my family...which would be less strong with another strong cultural identity within the family. In the end, I ask myself why I care about these things. I guess it comes down to what you know, what you can be sure of (tradition). At any rate, I like all the reassurance I can get, because there is this wonderful, smart Chinese man that I really really like :P

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  42. You kidding me? I'd go for an Asian man any day!

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  43. Just imagine if all the actors playing James Bond for the last 50 years had been Asian - we're all influenced by media whether we like it or not. How many non-comical, non-weak, non-stereotypical Asian male leads have you seen in movies over your lifetime? How many heroic white male leads have you seen saving the day and getting the girl (often of some exotic non-white race) in movies over our lifetime?

    "nothing against them, I just don't find Asian males attractive - they seem less masculine to me." Translation: "I have been brainwashed all my life by western media"

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  44. To be honest, I don't think race matters. I think there are attractive male and female in all races, and we are just attracted to them...

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    Replies
    1. @Anonymous, even if we are attracted to each other initially by looks, there are other factors against certain types of men. Unfortunately there are far more negatives about east asian guys than any other ethnicity of men here in the U.S.

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  45. I'm glad you are addressing these issues. I'm white from an all-white country and I have a Korean boyfriend. I'm looking forward to the world where we fall in love freely, without being conditioned to look at the skin color.

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  46. Asian men tend to look younger. Same goes for other minority men which is why White women tend to avoid them. They prefer men that look older than they are even when they are the same age which means White men, knowing they age faster, especially nowadays.

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  47. Interesting conversation, and I though I would had my own perception of the issue.
    As for my background, I'm a WW, fairly well educated - I precise as education gives you more criterias then just physical attraction, in love with the asian civilisation in gereral (learnt the basics of tibetan, burmese, vietnamese and japanese languages). I have no preferences between WM and AM, though I, so far, never have dated an AM, even though I had the occasion a few times while in Asia, but that was a matter of personality. ( I'm short and slim, 1m56, so this is not an issue).
    Anyway, my point being, even when I feel attracted to an AM (in Asia), I am still held back by the asian family culture and all it implies: as an european raised, individualist and independant woman, it would be impossible for me to fit into the role most non westernised asian guys expect woman to endorse. I think this may be a big issue my many WW, event though this concern may be an accurate representation in some cases, and a stereotype in others, as any individual can decide that he wont submit himself to the social standarts.

    An other issue would be the result of colonialism. As mentioned by some of the comments above, many AM (still from Asia) seems to consider the dating of a WF as a source of pride. I have noticed that in India, but not in Thaïland, which has never been under western influence. In that regard, it's fairly possible WW would doubt the guy's feelings towards her.

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  48. I'm a WW who only is interested in AM i have not got any attraction to WM and i never really have. But i'm to shy to approach a AM because i never know if he will like me and i also like them because alot of the AM i have seen stand back and i like that i like guy's who have alittle confidence but i get frightened by a guy with to much confidence. My cousin who has a asian mother and white father tell's me i have to learn to speak to them but i can not i get so nervous i can not even add guy's i have liked on facebook and there are alot of WW who like AM that are like me.

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    1. You shouldn't worry, asian men rarely get approached, talk to them if you're interested. Also, I disagree there are a lot of white women that like guys that are not confident. NO WOMAN LIKES UNCONFIDENT MEN...this is why asian men don't get approached because women think asian men lacks confidence, which is not true.

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    2. Well, Asian men don't tolerate confident women who approach them. They look at them as unfeminine as well as dangerous maneaters. And in Asian culture, maneating women get ostracized. They prefer docile, less confident women instead.

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    3. Just to let you know: http://www.meetup.com/Sydney-Asian-Men-Non-Asian-Women/ *It got up and running today. It's a free site where Asian men and Non-Asian women can meet up literally, kind of like on a communal date :-D Shelley

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  49. Not true. I'm an Asian guy and I want a woman who's very blatant in expressing her interest in me. Chalk it down to being crappy at reading non-verbal social cues...

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  50. Hey! Just to let you all know: http://www.meetup.com/Sydney-Asian-Men-Non-Asian-Women/ *It got up and running today. It's a free site where Asian men and Non-Asian women can meet up literally, kind of like on a communal date :-D Shelley Wow - I've read alot of things about how white girls aren't attracted to asian men for all kinds of mysterious reasons. Ok, maybe some of those reasons might have been valid years ago but there's been a shift in perspective lately. The only thing now really is to advertise 'sources' where asian men can meet up with non-asian women. Phew! Let's hope it snowballs from here. Shelley

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  51. I'm a U.S. WW in my 30s, and in general, am more likely to check out a man or woman of colour than a white one. Over the years, I've felt varying degrees of anxious over this, as my mom always stressed that fetishising someone b/c of their race was just as racist as refusing to date them, but I finally thought "Fuck it" and decided that since any reason to initially approach someone is objectifying, as long as I date people I like who make me happy and vice-versa, it's not a problem. I will say Asian dudes being more reticent is my own experience as well- I have really come to love online dating because I'm also pretty shy and it lets me clearly approach people who IRL I might get discouraged or flustered b/c I'm not quite confident enough in person.

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  52. Stereotypes and the media don't mean anything because all that matters is the individual; only weak-minded people get influenced by that stuff, and people like that aren't worth your time anyways. Reasonable women will get to know you as yourself and the traits that pertain to you, not other men of the same race.

    A decent looking, intelligent, charming Asian male would possess the qualities that women usually seek, and thus should have no trouble getting the woman of his choice. For those that don't, it may be a bit harder, but that would also be the case for men of other races that don't have those qualities.

    When it comes down to it, it seems like many Asian men don't like white women to begin with, as many prefer to date within their own race.

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  53. The lethal truth is, 'Ugly'. Asian man's facial features cannot be attractive to a single white woman.
    People argue that there are ugly people among any races. But, white woman see average caucasian man as just a human, but average asian man as a monster.

    Let me say, there are so much differences between asian and caucasian face. Asian men have wider face in front view, and flatter face on side view. Nasal height is low, They have no apparent nasal bridge,(I suppose caucasians have too high compared to golden ratio, but asians have extremely low) They have protruding eyes, which causes any light source cannot cause any shadow.
    Having just ust one of these feature, faces can be flat. But almost every asian men have all of these features so that they can be seen as $%#&@ to white woman.

    I have experimented to some of my friends. I got random(or some decent looking) caucasian stock photos with black hair, black eye, and skin color like latino with little facial hair. And introducing that he is chinese, japanese, korean, vietnamese, etc.
    The result was, they got so much interest.
    It indicates that the nation's standing or skin color, eye color, hair color doesn't matter.
    The facial structure matters.

    And technically, asian facial features are seen as unattractive by some reason(I dunno..)
    Caucasian men can have some beard to hide their ugly jaw, chin. Black men can disguise cause light cannot make their features apparent,
    But asian men cannot disguise because they reflect so much light and no facial hair to hide.
    It might be painful for them to reveal flat nose, wide face, protruding mouth and eye...

    Things like small penis size is not actually a problem because you cannot actually see 'Penis' at first place. And a woman with small breast, ass with pretty face can get a man with no trouble.
    And lots of white men and women already know that there are lots of sexual disease, or disorder amongst whites.

    Unfortunately, the chance for asian man's facial feature to be attractive is as difficult as a caucasian child is born among asian parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG....what a sweeping generalisation......

      Delete
    2. On top of that Asian men tend to be very strict and bossy with their women. Chances are a liberated white woman will suffer verbal and physical abuse from an Asian man whenever she screws up. Asian men are like their strict parents. In other words, Asian men have ugly personalities as well as physical features. And most liberated white women don't like Asian men at all. They think of Asian men as something to avoid because of the way their culture brings them up to be. Even mixed Asian women don't like fully Asian men as well.

      Delete
    3. Yes, but your mother liked me last night. You are a loser.

      Delete
  54. @ damned

    You claim that Asian facial features are ugly to white females yet that does not explain the YT's unhealthy and unnatural obsession with Asian females. Facial features aren't in themselves gendered, a female descendant can share their male ancestor's facial features and vice versa. Why is it that you only express negativity toward the Asian male and not the Asian female. I wonder what your position is because you appear biased. YT male? If so, TYPICAL.

    For you to state that the Asian male is just a monster is fairly typical of those who prescribe to the white supremacist racial hierarchy, which places the YT male on top. If looked at horizontally the YT place themselves in the middle and anyone who deviates from their position is considered inferior or inhuman. Because the YT is 'normal' and to look the Eurasian Sensation or to look like me is just a character from a horror film, right?

    Euro-centric ideals of beauty only exist to propel so called white supremacism. If you don't meet the ideal because your ancestors didn't steal a bear's home (cave) then that is too bad.

    x Loid Over Soid x

    ReplyDelete
  55. American men are more romantic than Japanese men

    Many of Japanese men hardly have the idea of planning a romantic dinner or date and nobody really see or hear that a Japanese guy actually buys candles or flowers for setting up a romantic dinner for a woman he likes. He may take her to a nice dinner at the restaurant but that’s all. Japanese women are often attracted by American men because they tend to be a way more romantic than Japanese men, and they can actually share the romantic moment together and can really feel “love” from them.

    - See more at: The top five reasons why Japanese women want to date with American men

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Japanese women are very bitchy, they want fantasy men!
      They have unrealistic expectations, and they whine like children.
      You can see the divorce rate and the horror stories that many WM have, they are a nightmare to live with.
      Live is not a hollywood movie!

      Delete
    2. "Japanese women are often attracted by American men because they tend to be a way more romantic than Japanese men"

      lol that's not being romantic that's a "game" they use to take you to bed.
      They don't even need to do that because asian women spread their legs to every white guy that smiles to them! They call some japanese girls "yellow cabs" for a reason.

      Delete
  56. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Romance or chivalry is dead, the hell are you talking about? Jeez, so many white dudes love pretending to be women to try to give a stupid list of explanations. Might as well not put down your bible so much.

    ReplyDelete
  58. i dont know to much of and about this,but i think that yes it has to do with whats stated in the article above the brainwashing of whats cool and in "fashion" except of just going with youre own preferences next to thats its prob culture to and the fact asian women are on date sites excesable to men in america europe etc,manny western people say manny asian men look abit feminane and nerdy sometimes this is not what i think but what i heard and red and it might be part of the reason as to how western men are shown in commercials namly always"cool" and whats there presumption is of "manly" and movies etc annyway thats what i think,personaly i would say dont judge by a cover but go date or hang out and find out :)

    ReplyDelete
  59. One of the most interactive kind of date asia based women services are available in front of me only for providing the chance to impress any of these beauties who are dating with those men.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I'M A WHITE WOMAN MARRIED TO A JAPANESE MAN...we LOVE eachother so much and the SEX IS AMAZING...
    It's been 16 years of love, friendship and honesty...we are a very strong couple...I'm so happy I found him :)

    ReplyDelete
  61. I'm a young-looking, medium built (UK size 10) WW in her 50s, who does find some AM very attractive indeed. Out of interest, do AM generally have a tendency to avoid older women, or not? And by the way, this isn't an ad, I'm not single!

    ReplyDelete
  62. I am an Asian guy who is currently dating a White girl. Honestly, I completely agree to the confidence thing, if you go for it, you will find out a lot of the white girls actually find Asian men quite attractive.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I'm a happily married 28 y.o. white chick, and I find the majority of Asian men very attractive, moreso than any other ethnicity. I'm a total predator hag about it, actually.

    In college, there were hardly any Asian guys. I had a Korean guy in one class, a Japanese guy a few semesters later. Let's just say I threw myself at them with all the wiles I had, and it didn't work.

    So I married a white guy, and I love my white guy 100%! But I still notice Asian men without fail. The age range I find attractive is even wider for Asian men than it is for white men. (I mean, you know, older - I'm not a pedophile.)

    Coming out of my favorite Korean restaurant the other day, I saw an Asian man with his white wife. I wanted to hi-five that woman! A fist-pump in the parking lot sufficed.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I'm a western european half indonesian half dutch male, grew up in Holland stand 5'10" tall, dark tanned, beach/surfer body, many asian facial features with some dutch touches.
    Now in a multi cultural society in Holland the Indonesian asians are fully integrated, most likely due the history of trading goods centuries ago. The beginning of my bloodline is also dutch.

    As I said the indonesian immigrants has been fully integrated in the society and pairing up with caucasian dutch female over the years. The result over generations is a lot of mixed offsprings. Reflecting on myself, I always had "white" friends at school and later on in my life as well. Hung out with certain type of people make that you in the end gonna feel attracted to females who are from the similar "society". therefor in all my life I dated Caucasian girls, and didn't feel attracted to asian girls or even the halfblooded dutch/indo combnation which happens to be very very popular in Holland (bigger cities).
    Then I started traveling through south east asia with my blonde girlfriend at the time. And if weren't together walking or seeing in public in any way, my girlfriend was the sight for all the locals, men or women, kids anyone.
    Me however found attention from mainly other traveling tourists, and so it happen, most caucasian blonde females. That particular type of girls I'm most attracted to most of the times..

    ReplyDelete
  65. Then we went to Bali Indonesia...
    Anything on this atricle does not apply in Bali. In Bali the Balinese men are found to be very attractive by many women of various ethnicity.
    The so-called local beachboys having trouble finding time to spent with all these women from all over the world...they trow them selves before them and their belongings, literally!
    Be being a surfer and tanned by the many hours surfing made me just as attractive to most caucasian females, to the point my girlfriend felt she had to protect her own boyfriend from other girls stealing me.
    There is a documentary about this phenomenon in Bali called; "Cowboys in paradise".

    Anyway our travels led to Australia, and I was a bit worried about the rumor about the racism in Australia...
    But it didn't felt that heavy for me at all. It was just as I was in Holland. Quickly I adapted to the Ozzie way of living and felt pretty Ozzie-like.
    We broke up and split ways, and was single again...but short after dated and met many...again caucasian girls, but this time not one was an actual Australian.
    Australian girls are beautiful to see, but behaviour made them unattractive to me and many other europeans male friends I've met over the years.
    Germans, Italians, French, English, Dutch, Swedish, Russian, Brazilian, Peruvian are the first ones I do remember, but not one Australian girl, over the course of almost 2 years. Short after I met a well travelled ozzie girl, she knows what she wants and she liked asian guys. and later where I had a job where also a lot of girls worked, I was seeing 1 and there were more who were interested...
    Concluding as soon as they experienced "asians" who was "date-able" they are interested on the bases of personality and looks, not particularly skin color or ethnicity.

    I know there are more like me, Asians who don't look that asian... or don't have that typical asian vibe radiating. I do feel more "caucasian" than asian, but my looks are the opposite. My behaviour is western, I speak english without an asian accent.

    I know racism is still there, and if I read this article it's just proof it's still exists but very gently underneath the surface of it all.

    I live now in Bali where I live the dream surfing and working a bit...by now I can distinct almost every girl where their from, by clothes, facial features and attitude...
    And the conclusion is that
    American girls are still very discriminating even in Bali, where they choose to be here voluntarily. Or maybe asians won't get near them back home. Uncomfortable and disrespectful towards me, and I can say I'm a nice guy and don't say stupid things.
    And the same goes for Australian girls. Bali is the top holiday destination for ozzies, from the big city or not, you won't stand a change, as an asian looking guy.
    Unless they have an open mind and they lose all those ideas and prejudging about asians,..that they are actual likeable guys and to some even better looking.
    I mean in a paradise where the sun always shines the people are friendly, where there guys are well tanned surfs and have a masculine beach body, hair is dyed by the sun, playing some tunes on a guitar, relaxed attitude, generously friendly towards women, appreciative and listen to you, many women wants this kind of attention, and sooner or later race is not an issue anymore.
    Many women like that and fall for it...above all from all races...
    I think and see that if you take the dogma's and people beliefs out of the way of thinking
    black, hispanic, asian, caucasian, it doesn't matter!

    Dully noted though that there are asian men who are dreadful...

    ReplyDelete
  66. Hmm, I wonder how I got here...

    ReplyDelete
  67. Interesting article & thread... I'm a WW married to an AM. I'm taller than him and curvy and he's slight. We find each other very attractive and have a gorgeous baby boy. We live in a pretty multicultural area, but people do look at us.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I am a white Australian woman, and my boyfriend is ethnically Korean, Australian-born. I also dated a Chinese guy for three years at one point. I have always had a lot of attention from men while single. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I am attractive and have a good personality, so I certainly don't 'settle' for Asian men. I am very much attracted to them. I feel like letting women know that there are loads of amazing, hot, caring, sweet, intelligent and successful Asian men out there, that are single and available. I think women just don't think to give Asian men a chance because it is not a pairing that is often seen in our culture. People are moulded by what they see around them much more than they are consciously aware of.



    ReplyDelete
  69. H. from UAE

    I'm an Arab man (modern type) and I've dated asian and white girls, and I just have to say that white women are the best.

    White women have more feminine bodies, more breasts and hips, they are more fun and they don't care about how much money you make.

    Asian girls also get so many plastic surgery done to their faces, it's scary, they change their natural features, but the result isn't that great, they should acept their natural facial features.

    Asian ex girlfriends lied to me about ridiculous things and also about their sexual history and plastic surgery past.
    Asian girls hyde behind a persona (they try so hard to look perfect, and make you believe that they are better then everyone else/other girls).
    They are have a manipulative persona if things don't go their way.

    I've found that white girls are more honest/more true!

    Currently I'm dating a portuguese girl and she's amazing, she doesn't play games and is honest and she's hot!

    So unless you are a white guy that for some reason can't get laid in your hometown , you should Avoid Asian Girls.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I believe it's cultural. In the US, the 2010 census showed that white American women marry Asian American men the most of non-white males (about 40% of the Asian men married white women), if they were born and raised in the US. However, only 20% of Asian male marriages were of those born and raised in the US.

    Also, women tend to seek status, while men tend to seek beauty. China and India are both still 3rd world countries. They are the representative countries for the vast majority of Asians, so it's the Asian men pay a dating tax. While the men from 1st world countries receive a dating bonus.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I don't know about you guys.. penis size don't matter much to me, but to some women it's a big deal. i'm not a size queen. but to be real honest here, Im not sexually attracted to asian or black men. regardless what the liberal western media tells you and tries to shove their multiculti agenda down our throats everyday. I prefer latin and white men. Sorry Asian guys but you don't do it for me. I even know a few ladies who are mixed with half asian, and they have sex with mostly white and or european males. I know in reality there are lots of people like me around the world who are not into dating/mating with asians or blacks.

    ReplyDelete
  72. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  73. Hmmm... I like reading articles like this and I think it is nice for me to make a post on my experience too. I personally will go for either AF or WF as long as there is love, compatibllility and understanding. A long time ago, being a student abroad I would have attempted knowing WF since I have always like their features too, sharper nose, large eyes, up front personality (well not over the top but you get what I mean) but was just too shy to know them. That was the early days of internet and just being young and afraid of rejection. Typical AM just doing what I was there for, a student and not partying too much since resources like money and time was really limited.

    I would probably have grown a pair if I was a little older and more daring to just go for one if I thought I had found the one. But when I finally got there I did find one. Not a WF but an AF brought up abroad. It just happened. Totally into her and still do today.

    The summary is, all men and women are just the same. There are shy ones, bold ones, etc. If you thought you found one, just go for it whether you are a M or F as it is the 21st century and equal rights is every where. Sure there will be traditional ones and if you want the M to do the first approach and found the guy, drop hints, more hints and go even a little direct just to bring the guy to you. Guys like me could just be too dumb and too shy to see it. It isn't really a confidence issue but just a plethora of everything - each little thing adding up to create such situation in the first place.

    Good luck in finding the one for you all. Remember beneath that race and culture, all have the same flesh and blood and just being human that is making things awkward. :)

    ReplyDelete
  74. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage_in_the_United_States
    Asian male/White female have a decent population, not rare at all. According to the Census Bureau in 2010, there are 219,000 Asian husband/White wife.

    ReplyDelete
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  76. Being a white woman in a multicultural country (and an area with a very high mixed Asian population) I can tell you why I don't date Asian men. Because they don't know how to to talk to women, I've been to events specifically for singles and every Asian man who approached me was abrupt and rude, they wanted to know (before even saying hello) how old I was and what I did for work - ie how much money I make - they assessed my like I was fodder. Mixed race I haven't had this problem.

    So guys, work on your manners and then maybe women across a broader racial background will be interested in dating you.

    ReplyDelete
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  78. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  79. Well, I don't think asian men are unattractive, I just think they're weird. I mean, they don't communicate with people as men from other countries do. They're not nice at all and they never smile either. I'm sorry but that scares me and therefore I don't feel comfortable around them, even when they talk to me.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Yes of course Asian men are attractive!

    -an Anglo female



    ReplyDelete
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  82. I have a theory of why less asian men date white women. And yes, I am asian and have a girlfriend for three years that is white(well, partially...) and no, i have none racial preferences when it comes to attractions. What I think the problem is is that there was a thing in asian countries about the importance of one's family name, which is carried on by the sons of a family. And if a son, especially an only son due to the one-child thing in China (which i hated, always wanted a sibling), is to marry off to a different culture, more than likely the family won't be continued the right way, and elderly people in the family may not like that.( my mom once told me not to find a wife that don't speak chinese, but that's another topic ) So these complexions may be a factor in the problems of am/ww marriages, or at least had the influence, since ancestral cultures do influence us, whether we realize it or not. With that said, I have nothing against anyone marrying anyone else, I believe that people should do what they want when it doesn't bring harm to others. So, yeah... Oh and, I don't know who said that asian women don't find asian men attractive, but it is pretty much false. I mean, i can't face my aunt (who is asian and married an Italian man. no complains here, he is really nice to me and is a great uncle ) and say that she is fully chinese, because she no longer views china as her home and spites it, which i hated a lot, as while i do enjoy U.S. a lot more (cough cough non-lethal air cough cough), I loved my country just as much as i once did, and would die for it if needs to, and i doubt many foreign-lovers can say the same, who are probably where the "asian women don't like asian men" stuff came from. Of course, there are exceptions, and i am stating this now to avoid hate comments. but insightful comments are welcomed, correct my wrongs and stuff, oh the great teachings of Confucious, so many naps in the classroom...

    ReplyDelete
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