Monday, March 22, 2010

Filipino Iced Tea and other hard drugs

When Maria Silva arrived at Melbourne Airport last week from her home in the Philippines, she was stopped when sniffer dogs detected something in her baggage. Initial tests revealed it to be 2.4kg of methamphetamine - cunningly concealed inside packets of instant iced tea.

Silva was carted off in handcuffs, and faced up to 25 years in prison for trafficking a commercial quantity of illegal drugs.

After 5 days in jail, customs officials were able to determine what Silva was actually carrying: 2.4kg of Nestea lemon-flavoured iced tea.

So, no amphetamines then?

29-year-old Silva, who works as a wedding planner, was bringing 3 800-gram packets of the stuff for her Australian boyfriend Steve Bromley. Word is, this is not the first time that this iced tea has been mistaken for amphetamines. Apparently it is quite refreshing but not especially addictive, and I have no information as to its street value.

She is reportedly traumatised by her ordeal, and has been awarded $5,000 compensation for those days spent in the slammer. Which is a nice gesture by the powers-that-be, but surely it would be nicer for our tourists, and the Victorian taxpayer, if they just didn't lock people up for 5 days without good cause.

I mean, 5 days? How long does it take to determine the difference between hard drugs and iced tea?

Screw the expensive lab equipment, here's a simpler method. You mix the Nestea lemon iced tea with an appropriate quantity of water, as per the instructions on the label, and then you drink it. If it is not drugs, you can enjoy a pleasant sweet drink. If it is drugs, you get high and can go out clubbing.

See? Simple, and I don't even have a science degree. If they had only asked me, I would have sorted it out in under 10 minutes and would have invoiced them substantially less than $5,000 for my trouble.

1 comment:

  1. Haha, it's the perfect solution! I feel bad for that woman though.