Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"Don't f*** with senior citizens, they'll surprise you once in a while."

When keeping it real goes wrong.

If you haven't seen this yet, where you been? It's an fascinating study of human behaviour, that takes place on a bus in Oakland, California. An internet sensation was born.

Various thoughts that spring to mind:

* The 67-year-old Epic Beard Guy (aka Thomas Bruso) is wearing a shirt that says "I am... a motherf***er."

* Bruso gives us the immortal line: "I see tough guys like you and I slap the sh*t outta them." How many senior citizens you know talk like that? Sounds like something out of Shaft.

* The girl who caught it on camera appears to steal Bruso's bag. Does she really film herself stealing something?

* She also says "Hey we can press charges, blood... I got it on videotape." Although of course this would show Mr Cornrow initiating pretty much everything.

* Cornrow's most unintentionally hilarious line (At 2 min 13 sec): "Next time... I'll f*** you up." That's gold.

* Epic Beard Man may not know karate. But he sure know kerrazy. But also to give him his due, he tried to avoid the fight. Well, sort of.

* You just know this video is gonna be porn for the white supremacist crowd.

* Although of course, if this inspires other old white gentlemen to stand up to hardcore ghetto cats, don't expect it to turn out too well next time around. (I'm thinking of Eddie Murphy's standup bit about the Rocky films emboldening Italians to start sh*t with big black guys.)

* While Cornrow picks the fight over what he sees as a racist comment, it appears to be just a misunderstanding. The most overt racism on display is from one of the black women, yelling, "Say it again, pinky!" and "Beat his white ass!"

* Seriously, who picks fights with the elderly? You ain't never gonna come out of that in credit. It's one of those things where even if you win, you lose.

* And getting beat down by a guy wearing a fannypack? EXTRA FAIL.

* Love the final shot. The sign saying "Keep our city clean and safe. Do your part." Kinda makes the whole thing seem like an ironic community service announcement.

* Word around the webs (and from Bruso himself) is that Mr Cornrow was actually out on parole after serving time for murder, and since the incident has now gone back inside.

* A couple of phrases that may just enter the wider lexicon after this incident: "He leakin'!" and "Ring the amba-lamps."

* Bruso has since been interviewed about the incident; you can watch it below. Apparently he's a Vietnam Vet who has done time many years ago for drug dealing and pimping. See? You never know who you're messing with.

* And apparently he's already a somewhat well-known character around Oakland (known mostly for walking around yelling obsenities and so forth). There's footage of him on Youtube getting tasered at a baseball game, where he was apparently yelling obscenities at cops. There's also a funny piece about him here, including an unverified account of what he was doing prior to getting on the bus.

* You can even check out the Mortal Kombat parody.

* He's clearly a little "out there". As you expect from a senior who wears a shirt that says "I am a motherf***er."

On a related issue, it was also the Bay Area public transport system that witnessed this brawl (below) between two women, apparently started over seating. Again, you never quite know when that person you choose to mess with is gonna get medieval on your ass.

Props to the girl who tries to stop it.

For some other senior citizens who like to whoop ass:

Vietnamese grandpa repeatedly kicks cop in the nuts

This guy is totally my new hero - China's elderly traffic enforcer


  1. I couldn't hear anything any of them said! What was Grandpa's original comment to the cornrows guy?

  2. ^ They were saying something about a shoeshine. If you take Bruso's word for it, he mentioned that his "boy" was going to shine his shoes, and then Cornrow took it as the racial connotation of "boy", and asks why a black man has to give a white man a shoe shine. It then looks as if Bruso misunderstands what Cornrow says, and thinks Cornrow is offering him a shoeshine. You can see Bruso asking "How much do you charge?"

  3. Apparently, Bruso is known around the Bay Area as "Vietnam Tom" and he has a long history of getting in fights with people for no good reasons.

    That said, Mr. Cornrow was an idiot to slap him.

  4. Hmm, yeah they're kind of both dickheads really but it seems like Bruso started it, and finished it with an extra helping of Crazy Violent.

    The whole thing is just depressing. Thank god nothing like that happens on my bus!!!