Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The strange ways people find my blog (Part 2)

Ah, the wonders of the internet. Below are a selection of the odd phrases people have typed into search engines, which have for some reason led them to this blog. Part one is here.

So a tip for all you bloggers out there: if you want to attract weirdos to your site, just do a couple of posts involving the word penis. If you blog it they will come.

Some of these are gross or just wrong, and some I just don't have any words for:

"black people have tremendous dicks but i don't believe it"

"naked video of Sudanese men"

"ugly currymuncher"

"shit puling dicks"

"non-girthy asian cock"

"nude rafting by chinese and black"

"australian radio where you had sex"

"sexy fortnight in south indian"

"how to masturbate successfully"

"asian sexy ass"

"graphics tamil heros penis blogged spot"

"video eurasian short hair blow job"

"Zimbio/vary dark armpit acterss indian girl"

"asian penis food" - food for the penis? Or food made out of Asian penises?

"plants used to make penis big"

"asian penis vs. white penis" - Like Ali vs Foreman, only more penisy.

"andrew bolt masturbation competition" - I always thought Bolt's columns were a bit of a wank, but I didn't realise he had a competition named after him.

"Eurasian penis size" - you wouldn't believe how many people are searching for this. So people, you really want to know about this, huh? Well, let me break it down for you, its quite simple. Imagine a white man's penis, and imagine an Asian man's penis. (Don't imagine them touching, unless that's what you're into.) Whatever sizes you think they might be, calculate the average and there you have it. It ain't rocket science. Apart from the donkey-esque exceptions such as yours truly, most Eurasians are gonna fall anywhere in the average range of their parent races.

"fusion of african,australian, latin american,middle east dish" - crikey, you're being a bit demanding aren't you? But I wonder what such a dish would look like - barbecued antelope marinated in vegemite and jalapeno chilie sauce and wrapped in pita bread? That doesn't sound too bad really.

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