Monday, September 21, 2009

Drunken racist bogan knobhead of the week

From the Cairns Post, this story.

A DRUNK footballer's loudly simulated sex with a parking meter has been
recounted in Cairns Magistrates' Court. He then made racial slur against a
passerby - the final straw for police.

Adam Michael Kelly, 25, of Smithfield, spent the night in the watch-house after his offensive performance and was fined $150 in court yesterday for causing a public nuisance.

Police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets on August 31 about 8.40pm and found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: "Yeah baby, you know you want it."

Police prosecutor Sen-Constable Michelle Long said Kelly was making large pelvic thrust actions and officers saw people walking by reacting with disgust at the performance.

Then, while talking to police, a woman of Asian appearance walked by and in a loud voice Kelly looked at her and said "f---ing gook, f--- off home", Sen-Constable Long said.

At that point, police arrested the young labourer and took him to the watch-house.
Kelly’s lawyer Richard O’Shane said his client had been extremely drunk after an extended binge-drinking session with teammates to celebrate the end of the CDRL football season. "He can’t remember much of the incident," Mr O’Shane said.

Maybe Mr Kelly just has a thing for really skinny women.

Certainly gives more weight to the assertion made by Paul Fenech (of Fat Pizza fame) that Cairns is the bogan capital of Australia; and adds to the growing evidence that rugby players have far more testosterone than brains. I just find it amazing that while Mr Kelly was being given a talking to by the police, he still had the presence of mind to racially abuse a passing Asian and didn't think that might cause him any problems.

The report doesn't say whether or not he tried to fit his junk inside the coin slot.

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