Sunday, June 14, 2009

Twitter: I just don't get it

I'm prepared to be educated on this, but I think Twitter is the stupidest phenomenon to sweep the internets.

Whose idea was this? "Hey, you know how Facebook is so popular? Well, how about we take one of the most annoying aspects of Facebook and make it into a whole application by itself?"

See with Facebook's status updates, as with Twitter's "tweets" or whatever the fudge they are called, most people use them to write the most mundane and uninteresting information. It's even more mundane and uninteresting when said user has an iPhone which allows them to update it anytime, anyplace.

"Oooh, you're waiting for a bus? Wow, I'm so glad I know that now, it puts everything into perspective for me."

There are of course some people who have turned status updating into an art form and can inspire conversation, thought and levity through well-worded and stimulating contributions. However, these people are clearly an extreme rarity.

I've never seriously considered getting involved with Twitter. I'm interested in many things in this world; the fact that you are about to go to the shops to buy bread is not one of them, I'm afraid. And I doubt anyone is that interested in my daily affairs to care what the hell I do during a day.

But, in case you are a massive fan of yours truly and desperately wished I would tweet regularly, I'll give you a quick taster, in lieu of you getting a life of your own.

10:01: I'm updating my status on Twitter.

10:49: My butt is itchy.

11:22: I'm twittering instead of doing anything useful. Gosh darn, this thing is so addictive and I know I shouldn't be doing it, but for some reason I am!

11:29: My butt is still itchy.

11:51: I just saw something funny. LOL.

12:02: Gonna have IndoMie for lunch.

12:09: Yeah, IndoMie taste good.

12:14: OMG, my butt is still really itchy. Maybe they make some kind of ointment for this?

12:43: I think John ought to stick with it.

1:11: I just saw another thing that made me LOL! Today has been like so awesome.

1:49: I'm hanging out with Paris Hilton. Aren't I cool?

1:50: Nah, I was just kidding about Paris Hilton! ROFL

2:20: Finally managed to buy some of that itchy-butt cream.

I hope that added new meaning and purpose to your life.


UPDATE (18th June 2009): I see on the news that the popular uprising against the Ahmadinejad regime in Iran has been fuelled by Twitter, since phone networks and many other social networking sites were shut down by the government.
So, I guess Twitter is useful after all. Whoda thunk it?

UPDATE (28th February 2011): Ok, so guess what? I have a Twitter account now (@euraznsensazn). Have for a few months, actually. So laugh at me and call me a dickhead all you want, here's your chance. Mind you, I barely tweet anything, very occasionally read a handful of funny people's tweets, and still think it's mostly good for not much.


  1. I agree that reading the minutiae of someone's day would be excruciatingly boring; however, Twitter can be damn good if you only choose to follow those whose tweets are entertaining or thought-provoking. Also, a lot of Twitterers (is that a word?) use their tweets to point people to interesting websites. And, unlike Facebook, you don't have to be 'friends' with anyone, so you can just drop those with boring postings and follow a wider range of people than you'd interact with on FB. So it can work, but you have to set it up to maximise the interest.

  2. Francis JinglechenJune 15, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    Where did you end up buying the buttcream from? Low fat or full dairy? I would totally `follow' you (if I gave a crap about Twitter also, that is)

  3. Tim - have you used your tweets to point people to my blog? If so, forget everything I just said, Twitter f***in' rocks.

    Francis - I got my secret source, don't you worry.

  4. Have just done so! Prepare for an avalanche of traffic...

  5. I agree that Twitter can be a monumental waste of time - but so can the telephone, email and many, many blogs. It's not the tool but the user who makes the difference. I use Twitter to follow issues in publishing and people/subjects of interest to me. It's quick to scan for relevant posts, I can follow links (like this one) and can cheerfully dump any posters who post about their itchy arse.

    Some of the folks I follow have used Twitter for on-the-spot promotions (including Amanda Palmer, Neil Gaiman and several bands) so that can brighten up a dull day as well.

  6. Narelle, are you seriously implying that my itchy butt is not interesting to you?

    That's ok. As I stated on the first line of the post, I'm prepared for you more enlightened folks to show me the error of my ways.