Friday, March 27, 2009

Knobhead of the Week: Pope Benedict

Africa's HIV/Aids epidemic, according to our friend and moral superior the Pope, is “a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problem."

Wait, hang on, condoms aggravate the problem?


Admittedly, this is nothing new; the Pope is in essence just reiterating the Catholic Church's stand on contraception. Their stance has always been that the only acceptable form of contraception is abstinence.

Abstinence is great as a protective method, and more effective than condoms. But as the only method? Come now. Want to avoid getting a deadly disease? Just don't have sex. Simple as that.

The Church's stand on this is like saying that the way to solve the Middle Eastern crisis is for Jews and Arabs to start loving each other, and everything would be fine. Which of course is true, but it just ain't gonna happen. Sex is simply to powerful a human drive for most people to abstain for prolonged lengths of time, particularly when you are as phenomenal at it as I am, and particularly when the Church doesn't even allow you to have a sly jerk to compensate for all this no-sex business. A humane church would maybe say, "Ok, you can't have sex, but once a month you are allowed to whack it." But no, even that is verboten.

Of course the majority of people, Catholics included, make up their own mind and may choose to use condoms anyway. But in Africa, where the disease is most prevalent, there are many Catholics who lack education but for whom the Pope's words will hold great sway. And this is a continent where there are still many myths about condoms which discourage their use. So by dissuading people from using the only feasible contraception method available, it is quite feasible to say that people will die directly because of what the Pope has said this week.

Why are we listening to the Pope and his people for advice about sex, anyway? I don't go around dishing out advice on aeronautical engineering or knitting, because these are fields that I have no experience in. Likewise, a bunch of guys who have never experienced a sexual relationship have no credibility advising others on it.

Talk up abstinence all you want, I got no problem with that. But as soon as you tell people not to use condoms, you become a knobhead.

Darth Sidious, aka Pope Benedict.


  1. Sex demands responsibility. To be responsible, you must protect yourself and your partner. Yes, it is as easy as that.

    I hate the fact so many people around the globe hate condoms. Or birth control in general. Hello! If you want to have sex and stay healthy and not get pregnant- well, you know what to do.

    What? Oh, they don't want you to have sex! I see. So that's why we have abstinence programs and lies about condoms and birth control. I don't get it.

    I mean, I understand that there are religious people. But condoms are our friends, not enemies.

  2. @ Mira: "condoms are our friends"

    True, but I'm not a real friend to condoms. I use them and discard them once they've served their purpose.